Let's talk about stuff

Shirt: Gap / Scarf: gift from Mernie / Jeans: AE / Boots: gift

So, I've been a bad blogger for basically this entire school year and for that, I apologize. I'm not gonna lie, this year has been tough and the college application process was the biggest part of it. So far, collgege has not been kind to me and I'm still kind of bitter about it and I probably will be for a while. To put it simply, I found a type of program that was exactly what I wanted, I applied to several of them, and didn't get into any. Being told no is not something I'm a stranger to, so I thought I could handle it, but it was harder than I thought it would be to be told no so many times in a relatively short amount of time. In case you're worrying, I got into (and was waitlisted) at a few great schools, and I'm on the verge of making my decision, but that doesn't make all of the rejections of this past year any less difficult to bear.

Now that the process is almost over (at this point I'm just thinking about my final choice and, of course, the many financial issues of attending a private college), I feel like I have a least a little bit of perspective (maybe not, but I probably won't really for another year or so). Even if I have zero perspective and I'm still way too involved in my emotions from this process, I would still like to reflect on what I've learned from this process.

Dress and Tights: Marshalls / Necklace and Beret: handmade / Boots: gift

Until recently, I thought I hadn't really learned anything. I didn't (and still don't really) understand why I had been rejected so many times. I worked really hard on academics and music all throughout high school, especially during the application process. I sincerely don't mean to sound entitled or snobby, I didn't assume that I would get in everywhere, I just assumed that I wouldn't only get into two schools out of the 13 I applied to. Yes, I applied to 13 highly selective schools (admittedly, most of them were as part of a double-degree program so I didn't actually apply to 13 programs) and got into two great places. I may be starting to sound like white girl problems or a walking stereotype, but I urge you to put yourself in my place.

At my school, lots of people applied to as many schools as me. Although I know people who only applied to a few schools, but a more normal number was about 7-12. People applied to all of or most of the Ivies just because of their names (even though, as most people knows, the Ivies aren't all the same type of school for an example, I don't think anyone would say Dartmouth and Cornell are for the same type of person). I know people who "have to" go to schools like Tufts, UChicago, or U of R because they didn't get into the Ivy of their choice. I hear about people choosing to study medicine, engineering, business, or law just because they want to make a lot of money (of course there's nothing wrong with studying any of these things).
It's hard for me to feel sympathetic towards these people because while they might feel a sense of obligation to go to college and get a high-paying job, so many of them don't have any passion. I have dreams, big ones, so when I didn't get in to those schools, I felt like my dream was being taken away. As stupid as it may sound, I know what I want to be when I grow up, and I had what I thought was the perfect plan to get there.

Sweater: Salvation Army / Skirt: Target / Converse: Marshalls / Earrings: Antrhopologie

Which brings me back to what I've learned. I've learned that sometimes, hard work, talent and planning don't always lead to success. I've learned that life doesn't always go the way you want it to. Those are bitter pills to swallow, but I've learned another lesson too, a lesson that I'll probably learn over and over again once I'm out of high school: that there are always many ways to get achieve you dreams. Even though I'm probably going to end up at a liberal arts school instead of a double-degree program, I still believe that I can achieve my dream of becoming an opera singer. I've questioned that so many times this year, and I will probably question it many more times, but at the end of the proverbial day, I truly believe in this quote: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." The quote is from the Alchemist, a pretty fantastic book that I read this year in its Spanish translation (it was assigned in my Spanish class).

 

The book is basically a fable, and I'll admit, it gets a little strange at times when the narrator is talking to the wind and the desert, but its central message is a fantastic one. It's about the concept of a "Personal Legend," a dream that one discovers, usually when they're young, that it is your purpose in life to complete. While the narrators Personal Legend is to find a treasure, I truly believe that becoming an opera singer is my Personal Legend. I know that its about as practical as the narrator's dream, but I know that I have to try, or I'll never feel fulfilled. I would highly recommend the book, and of course, I recommend following your dreams.
Well, I ended up touching upon much bigger themes than I had initially intended, and I'm sorry if I sounded at all preachy or judgmental, but I really needed to write out some of what's been in my head for a while.

I am very happy to be done with my second 30 for 30. Looking back at it all, I was able to dress pretty much normally, which makes me think that I chose pretty good pieces. My few regrets are these:

The blue skirt: I wish that I had either chosen a different, more versatile skirt or eliminated it entirely (since I don't really have that many "winter-appropriate" skirts anyway)

The purple shrug: I don't regret choosing this piece. What I regret is not choosing pieces that could be worn with it! The only shirt that could be worn with it was the black tee (and I did to come up with alternatives throughout the challenge)

Sneakers: I chose not to include sneakers for this challenge in order to force me to wear other shoes (which actually worked, I did wear flats about half of the time). However, I did miss my sneakers and there are at least a few outfits that I think would've worked better with sneakers. In retrospect, I could've traded sneakers for my  Bean boots.

If I had to pick a few favorites, I would choose 2, 7, 8, 13, 17, 20, and 28.
Also, here's a bonus (accidental) 31st outfit that I wore because I stopped keeping track of where I was in the challenge towards the end. Oh well.

Shirt: Gap / Cords: Delia*s / Flats: AE

Twenty eight, twenty nine, and THIRTY

Tee: Target / Shrug: F21 / Cords: Delia*s / Flats: AE / Necklace: gift

Over the years, I've marveled at other people's music tastes. Its seemed to me that everyone seems to know about these cool new bands, and they listen to their songs and know all the words and they've even made up some dance to go along with it (ok, that last bit might just be my musical friends). I've always wondered how people found out about this stuff. Is there some feed that transmits what music that all people are supposed to know 24/7 that I have somehow tuned out of? Truly, it puzzled me. I am a musician! Shouldn't I know about music?

Tee and Cardigan: Gap / Scarf: hand-knitted / Jeggings: AE / Flats: Sperry

Well, I've realized recently that I don't listen to music the same way that a lot of other people (especially teenagers) do. I don't really listen to the radio. I typically don't listen to music when I do work (I'm distracted by words, and even melodies that I know too well, so sometimes I listen to my Stile Antico cds because they don't distract me). I also don't like to listen to my iPod when I'm in public because it feels anti-social. All that to say I don't really listen to music that much.

Shirt: Gap / Jeggings: AE / Flats: Sperry / Necklace: Target

I think I would like to listen to music more though. After all, I am a musician. Recently people have recommended that I listen to Bon Iver and Mumford and Sons, so I think I'll try them out. Also, I think I'm going to have to listen to Cake (I just listened to a song of theirs at Already Pretty) and the Smiths. This probably makes me seem terribly uncool, but such is my life. Until later.

Twenty Six and Twenty Seven

Tee and Cardigan: Gap / Cords: Delia*s / Flats: AE

I'm feeling very done with posting my 30 for 30, so I'll keep this brief. I wore the first outfit during the day, and I wore the second outfit to see the Lion King with my brother. We had a fanstastic time, but I was lukewarm about the outfit.

Tee, Cardigan, and Skirt: Gap / Tights: Target / Flats: Sperry

Twenty five

Sweater: Gap / Jeggings: AE / Boots: gift

 

I've been doing homework all day, so I'm not sure that I have it in me to write a really well-written post. So, I will let these pictures do the talking for me. Here's the story, last Saturday, my mom decided we would clean out the craft cabinet. I took a ton of pictures, and here are a few.